I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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