The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
