so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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