You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
