my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
