i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
