i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
