Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
