I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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