**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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