I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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