I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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