so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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