All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
