Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and she was petting her beer can
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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