is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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