I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
