I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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