You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
