Swine flu. Run for my life!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
