come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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