i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
she peed on how many people?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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