Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
worst night to have a conscience
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
