Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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