when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
