I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
