so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
