He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i think i have herpe
just one?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
