Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize