considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
