I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
