I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
