I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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