Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
