I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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