Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
