Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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