Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i barfeds in our rink
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
