Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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