Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
