I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
