Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
