i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
