you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
