Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
