She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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