nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize