Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
