ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
