fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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