ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize