saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
