I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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