My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
