I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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