My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
