Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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