so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize