Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
