Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
