I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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